It’s Thursday. 12:33PM I am tired horny stressed but trying to remain optimistic.
Pink Bracelet
Please be as happy as you can. Choose to be happy. Because I know it is so fleeting, esp if you don’t choose it
Sense of peace
It’s knowing that everything will be okay. Even though right now, there is a lot to do.
It’s sadness
I kept saying to myself, “I can save myself.” so I wiped the tears from my cheeks, blew my nose…
Freestylin’ Friday 11/28
That where I am from I am taught to disregard my feelings and my needs for other people, especially as the oldest. But i won’t allow that to be my story again
I realized
Cuz I feel like that is what is going on in my life
Wicked Wednesday 11/26
So that means, that if you don’t have fear, that means you have trust.
Hello diary
I was against it because I want to continue to honor one of my values- which is honesty.
Feeling alone
I wonder if he knows that he fills my daydreams.
Giving myself what I needed
Again, it all comes back to trust. But trust what? Trust life? Trust myself? Trust what’s out there? What is there to trust?
I ate potatoes today
That’s why today: I’m gonna get my curly fries and lemon tea😊
Sweaty Back
But I was wrong… there is someone who could love me more than he did. Me
I saw a tampon today
My heart whispered: there is✨
With a Mouthful of Sunflower Seeds
I want to tap that and maintain that energy. That this what I can give you, take it or leave it.
Magical Monday 11/17
So diary I was planning to stay at work 2 hours after closing time.
Freestylin Friday 11/14
And it came back to me. The late night drives, the slow sex in his dorm room, our inside jokes, how he made me feel safe and protected. It all came crushing down on me…
Thinking Thursday 11/13
— I am not meant for home. I am meant to be wild and free. With my hair loose and no bra. I thrive with people who accept me as I am, and celebrate me. And the only person I find that with – is God and myself.
Wicked Wednesday 11/12
Guess what? My butt does feel more lifted🤯
Truth Tue 11/11
As I was typing the last paragraph, I remembered I didn’t listen to my Morning Meditation so here it is😊🎀
Magical Monday 11/10
Yes, it’s okay to daydream of MU. But I choose to keep the eye on the prize…
1st Blogaversary
Here’s to many more to come ♥️
Why do I trust life? – part 1
… I don’t really have role models in my life. Instead, I have a bunch of people whom have lives that I want to avoid
Thinking Thursday 11/06
When it comes to my local people I feel like I am lower class. I don’t know if it’s cuz my mom always said we are the poorest and must be the last
Wicked Wednesday 11/05
Was it because of R’s cousin? The cute guy who gave off Japanese vibes who literally drives the same car as MU but white??
Truth Tutesday 11/04
Praise. I would do mirror work. Consistently remind myself that I am beautiful
Magic Monday 11/03
And it continues…
R & R: Hear O Lord
I came back home to run away from R. Once I’m gone, I’m never coming back.
Freestylin’ Friday 10/31👻🎃
It’s Halloween baby! Is it obvious that I masturbate in my car? I am sleepy but I am enjoying my cozy socks, belly full of jello n corn beef hash, and the cool weather 😊 I wonder if my dreams would come true: *consensual polyamorous relationship *live in Japan *have PhD
#1 Just Pondering
Please, please, please fantasize about a life that you know you could achieve.
Thinkin’ Thursday 10/30🎃
C***blocking is on my mind.
Wicked Wednesday 🫔 10/29
To me, it means to go where things go. And to act gracefully in all things.
Truth Tuesday 10/28🧙♀️
But it was in front of the Post Office, I let him in front of me…
Magic Monday 10/27
I don’t know why. I keep doing affirmations. It’s hard to see or know if it is true or not.
notes#5
Something in me whispered, “embrace that.”
I don’t know what’s wrong
Is it the way I treat K?
I’m still angry
Cuz you are a fucking bitch
Wicked Wednesday 10/15
I think life is telling me to be a BITCH
I want all of my mother’s love
“everything I am looking for is right under my nose”.
I never got what I wanted – Magic Monday 10/20
Cause I can save myself.
Freestylin’ Friday 10/17
I finally did Zoom with my classmates and teacher
Truth Tuesday 10/14
I am willing to be self aware to know why I feel this way about him
Magic Mondays – 10/13
I think I resent her for dying
R & R Haunted Hotel
You’re enough, just the way you are
What is one thing you can forgive yourself for right now?
I am too hard on myself
notes #4
without R, I wouldn’t feel so much shame around my people
Magical Monday – 09/29
The saddest thing is that I hoped/faith, that coming back home it would be smooth sailing to pay for grad school.
notes #2
Okay I have been inconsistent. Monday, was the last day I did an official post. The last two ones were spontaneous ones.. I deleted MU’s pictures (their not real pictures, but more like posts, like Facebook pictures and a college catalog, that has his face in ‘em). It was hard, but I feel like it…
note#2
I am tired. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am back to worrying about money again. I thought I was over this factor in my life. Now I am trying to login to my school email. To see if Financial Aid emailed me…
Sakura-like Tree
Just what if…
notes #1
And I think I killed my aunt
Freestylin’ Friday – 09/19
How would I continue living on with my life knowing that I didn’t correct this wrong when I wasn’t even the wrong?
Thinkin’ Thursday 09/18
It happened again today.
Wicked Wednesday- 09/17
my left hand on my heart, my right hand on my stomach and asked myself “what do I need to know?” And a loud voice said in my head, “Slow down. Slow down.”
Truth Tuesday – 09/16
Okay a secret, I want to masturbate @ work!
Magic Monday – 09/15
during my yoga I shed a few tears. And asked God to give me food
Freestylin’ Friday – 09/12
Dear Diary, Today, is Freestylin’ Friday. For this post, I will journal on the prompt: “What do you love most?” I would say me. A more accurate, is I am embody someone who has high self-love. Being a high-value woman Being a wise P person Being vibrantly healthy Being devout Catholic Being a classic girlie…
Thinkin’ Thursday 09/11
I know something HAS to change but I don’t know what. I am WILLING to make the change.
Wicked Wednesday – 09/10
I love masturbating💛
Truth Tuesday 09/09
I create solutions
Magic Mondays – 09/18
I am doing my best.
Something’s new are coming in…
Trying something’s new for the blog💛
My dad pooped his pants today
Yes, the thrill of getting caught turns me on😜
Happy Anniversary Louise
I cried because I couldn’t imagine I would feel this happiness and contentment after the divorce.
I gave myself what I wanted
Today, I was selfish. I did my best, and i wonder if it is enough This picture was todays quote. It reminds me of my daydreaming: *AndVillage and the could haves and would haves of us *how college would have been so different if I stayed on the dorms *how my life could be so…
Hurtin’ Throat
going out of my way for people doesn’t do any good for me
Ep. 1 “The Wisdom Tooth Incident”
And he is a great eye candy
It’s not enough
I got the money to help me pay for grad school It’s not enough. It’s not even enough to pay for half of it I am shocked and saddened I literally cried my little pink heart out in front of the store Cuz I thought it was my saving grace It was the one thing…
Birthday Blog#3
Imagine what I can do, what I am truly capable if I give 110% to myself.
The Avoidance Theory
Dear Diary, I found that this quote is more true than not. Months ago, when my parents were out of the house, I looked the front door and a dance party. I danced “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” by Taylor Swift. I thought about how Taylor Swift kept on touring when she…
Birthday Blog#2
I am willing to believe it because I deserve all the good things in life
Birthday Blog #1
I was born on a Saturday morning.
Still Wondering Why You Left Me Behind
Aren’t I worth fighting for?
Fear
I wonder what makes me feel so scared
R & R – Matilda
This is my favorite movie
I love myself therefore…
I love myself therefore…
Slow Livin’
I got my period
My fears
This year’s word is: TRUST
Is it true?
Happy Almost Birthday to Harry Potter🥳
Scraps from Journaling
he told me he wanted to divorce me thru a WhatsApp text
AndVillage
A post dedicated to AndVillage
Why do I feel this way?
I feel happy and important when I am sick and have to take medicines at certain times of the day for about a week
Sushi Roll🍣
I am willing to let go.
Dead to me
It breaks my heart.
The Code of Silence
In my culture, there is a code. On how to live and be the perfect individual.
R & R – Dead Boys Detective
Dear Diary, This months Reflection & Review is on the Netflix’s Dead Boys Detective. Be cautious, this post contains spoilers. I will give a review, rundown on the show and tell how I relate to the show in more ways than one. Basically, it’s about these group of teenagers solving mysteries that include ghosts. There…
the life that I wanted
Maybe it is a good idea of me to write my innermost fantasies.
Closing my Eyes
In there…
I deserve better
His promises of safety and security fell on deaf ears.
In the sky
Alligator in the sky
Death
I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna die tonight.
I hit rock bottom
I was desperate to find, have and keep a boyfriend who would give me the love that I crave.
I Wonder
I want to live and breathe my truth
Things I Wished that Happened but Actually Didn’t
Dear Diary, Here’s a list of things that I wished happened but I didn’t for me. And why now I am grateful it didn’t happen Life is never what it seems. At times, most of the time for me anyways, I never get what I want. But looking back, even now. It seems I do:…
R&R: Along for the Ride
Dear Diary, Over the course of the years, I have lived on this Earth, I have been a consumer of different forms of media. I believe it is high time for me to write my two cents of these subjects. I have great intention to post a review and reflection on anything that interest: books,…
The Dreams That Couldn’t Be
Photo Courtesy: From instagram profile of: realmollydoyle Men of my dreams. Is it hard, crazy, or audacious or is it all of the above that I want not one, but THREE boyfriends, husbands, men in my life. I want one guy to be with me always, and the other two have each other as backups….
All In The Name of Chocolate
A few weeks ago, there was big celebration where I came from. I was glad that the day who is meant for this particular group of people got to enjoy their day. Today, I ate 2 chocolate cookies, rice and half of a fried fish, Hershey’s chocolate almonds, 2 chocolate chip cookies. And drank water…
Pescatarian
I am a pescatarian.